The Standard You Walk Past: How Small Moments Shape (or Break) Real Culture

One of the biggest misconceptions in leadership is that culture is built through big speeches, big initiatives, or big meetings. In reality, culture is built long before any of those things happen. Culture is built in moments—small ones that rarely get attention but quietly define everything the team becomes.

I learned this on baseball fields long before I ever stepped into hospitality or resort operations. On the field, I can tell more about a culture from how players behave before practice or between innings than from anything I ever said in a huddle. It wasn’t the motivational talks that shaped the team—it was the day-to-day habits they repeated when nobody was keeping score.

As I’ve grown as a leader, I’ve realized something important:

You can’t coach a culture you don’t model. Your example becomes their permission.

And the moments where that matters most often look like nothing special at all.

The Hot Cocoa Moment

It was just another ordinary afternoon – I was walking back from lunch when I noticed a guest scanning for someone to help with a simple request. I stopped to help and she politely asked if I knew where a Beverage Server might be.

After looking quickly around the slot zone and service station, I returned to the guest. I apologized for not having found a server. Apologies are a sign of respect, not failures. And then I said, “I can get something for you if you'd like.” I could tell she hadn’t expected me to offer. Her response caught me off guard. She almost seemed sheepish, like she was embarrassed to ask. “Oh, it’s just a hot cocoa. But, they always put EXTRA whipped cream on for me.” It was a simple request, but the tone made it clear—she didn’t expect someone in a suit to pause their day and step in.

When I returned a few minutes later, I handed her the cup, complete with the extra whipped cream. She took it with a smile, one that seemed more relieved than anything. I could see it in her eyes—the sense of surprise, the feeling that I had gone out of my way for something simple.

And that’s when it hit me: She wasn’t just grateful for the cocoa. She was grateful for being seen, for being valued.

This moment reinforced something I tell every team member I work with: It’s never about the task itself—it’s about how you make the person feel. The five minutes I took out of my day didn’t just serve a drink. It sent the message: “You matter here.”

The lesson I learned: In leadership, the “small stuff” isn’t small. It’s everything.

In this line of work, whether it’s security, operations, or guest services, leadership isn't just about overseeing the major stuff—it’s about showing up in the small, human moments. Those are the moments that create culture.

Sometimes, the most powerful thing you can do is step in and serve — even if the task is as simple as a hot cocoa.

That’s culture in action.

The Culture You Model Is the Culture You Get

I’ve coached leaders long enough to know: Your team listens to what you say, but they study what you do.

If you stay calm when pressure hits, they learn to stay composed.

If you treat every role on the team with respect, they learn inclusivity.

If you stop to help a guest when you’re wearing a suit, they learn that nobody is above guest service.

These moments are small on their own—easy to overlook and easier to skip. But they are the thread that stitches culture together. Because in every family-centered resort, casino, or hospitality operation:

• Guests look for comfort, not control.

• Families look for connection, not formality.

• Teams look for leaders who will do the work they ask of others.

A culture of service doesn’t begin with talking about expectations. It begins with leaders living them.

The Experience Inside the Experience

Throughout my years in operations that serve families—hotels, recreation programs, and resort venues. One truth holds steady:

Families remember the moments you never planned.

The greeting that felt genuine. The help that wasn’t scripted.

The service that wasn’t technically “your job.”

The safety presence that felt reassuring, not intimidating.

When families choose your operation—often for a once-a-year vacation—they’re not just looking at amenities or attractions. They’re choosing how they hope to feel in that space.

• They’re hoping to feel cared for without feeling like an interruption.

• They’re hoping to feel seen without feeling like they’re demanding attention.

• They’re hoping to feel safe without the pressure of being watched.

That’s why the small moments matter. They’re the ones that last.

Culture Lives in the Little Moments

If there’s one lesson that’s carried from the dugout to resort operations, it’s this: Teams don’t rise to the standard you post on a wall. They rise to the standard you live in the moment.

• If you want great service, serve people yourself.

• If you want calm under pressure, model calm.

• If you want ownership, show what ownership looks like.

• If you want a family-friendly environment, treat families with genuine care in your own interactions.

Leadership is about showing the way—consistently, quietly, and in the moments that are easiest to skip. Because when leaders live the tone they want, teams feel it. Guests feel it. And the operation starts moving together in a way no manual can teach.